04 August 2010


I went over my daily points by 9 today.
This, I know, isn't a big deal.  Even if my weight decrease has now decreased my daily point intake and yesterday at the same time I would have been over only 8 points.  Yes, I have 22 activity points saved up already, and yes, I have some of my weekly 35 points to spare. 

What is a big deal is that 1. I didn't need to go over by 9 points, and 2. I feel gross and sluggish and distended now that I am reflecting on my actions.
1.  I was only over 3 points after dinner.  Dinner was huge--leftovers of delicious meatballs, focaccia dipped in olive oil/garlic/balsamic. I even took some of the extra shredded zucchini I had leftover from making bread and put it in the sauce with my meatballs to add additional veggies.  I hit all my little checkmarks: enough water, dairy, protein, fruits/veggies, healthy oil, grain, and excercise--I was doing great...
And then I got the letter (which I was pretty much expecting) of bad news.  And I decided that I would eat 3 of my truffles from chocolate tasting.
Let me say this--I have been doing awesome with these boxes of truffles.  Two nights ago I split two truffles with L--the first I even went into the deliciousness.  Tonight was unacceptable.  Yes, the caramel-ly goodness was wonderful for a moment, but I have gut-rot now, feel like crap, and honestly, until the great truffle debacle, I really had a good day otherwise. 
I wasn't even hungry (actually, I was super full) when I ate the truffles.  Not. Worth. It.
And honestly, even the stress of the employment situation, relationship situation, family situation, and the disappointing news today, should not have derailed me.  It is good to think on this.  I just need to remember the gross squishy feeling I have right at this moment and avoid it as much as I can in the future.
And, I need to not let food be my comfort.
Yes, I'd love to have gone for a walk or done some yoga, but my knee hasn't been feeling better--it seems almost worse (even if that can't be possible--can it?), and it is frustrating me that an avenue of potential de-stress is so limited in order to hopefully correct whatever it is that has happened to my dumb knee.



  1. Don't be so hard on yourself!! you have already accomplished quite a bit. Yes, you need to be aware of what your triggers for emotional eating are, but don't beat yourself up about it. today is a new day.

  2. I think that true awareness is key to dealing with any addiction. We cannot sleep walk through life and expect anything to change. It's tough to face our demons and fight for change. It's hard, painful, and sometimes scary to grow as human beings but it's worth it. You're doing great, keep it up, the end result of health is more than worth facing down the truffles.


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