21 February 2011


I have reached a critical juncture in this journey.

The last time I was really serious about WW, I never really "finished."

I was hard-core for a while, but I don't even know how many months I remained dedicated. Of course there were some slip-ups, but I would get back on track and do well again, but then I finally just let my hard work slip away and gave up.

I have completed six full months of WW, working at bad habits attempting to recompense for 16 years of treating my body (my self) like crap.  I really don't want to slip again.

But I feel that the slipping up is slowly creeping up on me.  The weekends are the worst.  So are birthday celebrations with L's family--my birthday starts it all off, and then it's L's bday, then his brother's, and then his step-brother, and then his step-sister....all of which include eating as the celebration, which I enjoy being a part of.  Each weekend brings another sabotage WHICH I ALLOW. 

It isn't hard to make better choices, to make more healthy options for pot-luck events, to make "healthy" dates with friends or L, but I haven't made these healthier choices. It's about moderation--when I know that a celebration is coming, don't make unhealthy decisions during the other days.  PLAN better. 

I feel myself leaning towards taking the easy way out, giving up and returning to old habits.  I tell myself, "it's only two slices of bread with butter..." and then that becomes 4 or 6 pieces...which leads to donuts and other choices that are the bane of my existence--(it is really hard for me to eat bread in moderation).  That is why I try to avoid certain foods--even though that option isn't really working either.

So, I need to take a step back, reevaluate, and reconsider how much progress I have made because of healthy choices. 

How content and proud I am when I meet all the healthy checks, when I track everything I put in my mouth, and when I work out.  How good it really does feel when I push myself past the "I don't want to" phase and exist within the "It is much healthier for me long term when I take care of myself" realm. 

And I do love the results I am seeing--I can wear shirts I haven't been able to since before meeting L.  I don't really have any jeans I like because they are either too big or WAY too small (from a LONG time ago). I need to keep reminding myself of all I've done, celebrate, and not think so much of where I still want to go. 


  1. Hang in there!!! You have accomplished SO MUCH!!! Stay focused on your goals. It doesn't matter how long it takes, just keep working at it. And don't expect perfection every week. You have to find a balance that is realistic!

  2. I feel like I could have written this post. The closer I get to goal, the more I have to fight MYSELF. I always get to this point and start sabotaging all of my efforts. Hang in there. We CAN do this.


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