08 December 2010

Counterproductive...

Today I ran for a full 40 minutes. Straight.
It helped that my favorite podcast that I listen to as I jog read an email I wrote on the show today!  Download it here--the show is 12/8 & my email is about 19:16 into the show.  I almost fell over because they actually tease that they are going to read my email at the beginning of the show and they say my full name--I almost fell over when I heard it!!

And then I got back, showered, and started boxing up stuff that I can mail back.  And it hit me that I am leaving soon.  And it sucks.  I will miss living with my sister.  I will miss knowing how close my mom and dad are. I will miss getting to see them or have breakfast or a fish fry with them.  So that sucks.  I miss L like crazy. I miss our nice house and our awesome bed and our amazing kitchen. I miss my car and driving it.  I even miss my gym. But when I get back, I know that I will miss my mom and dad and my sister.  It's never easy is it?

And then, I had 1 point left for the day (which sucks by the way--a large cafe karuba I track as 11 points--which is horrifying, but the cinnamon roll flavor is so beyond delicious, and it is so freeking cold here, it is the perfect drink to start my teaching day).  And my jog was 12 points, but then I ate an egg, 2 egg whites and a bagel thin.  And then I had two bites of my homemade toffee that I made for people at work.  And then I ate two pretzel/Hug wreaths.  And then I ate some puppy chow I made. Keep in mind, these were things I made as gifts.  I wanted to try the puppy chow because I didn't have enough peanut butter so I added a few butterscotch chips. I don't really like the flavor, but what did I do? I gorged myself.  I actually felt myself getting sick, more and more full, and yet I KEPT EATING.  And now I have a stomach ache and I feel yucky and I totally negated my awesome run tonight.  Which is frustrating.  And disheartening.

My first 5K is on Saturday.  Two of my amazing friends are walking it while I run it.  My mom is walking in it (I just found that out via facebook).  I am nervous.

And I REALLY need to get rid of all the homemade baked goodies so I am not even tempted to gorge myself.  BAH.

2 comments:

  1. 40 MINUTEs!!! WOW. I am so proud of you.

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  2. Emotions and food are so tightly tied together, sometimes it is hard to seperate the two, but it's good to really look at what you're feeling instead of trying to swallow it down with food. Sometimes Paulo starts gulping when he's upset, I told him he's swallowing his emotions and that it's better to simply talk about them then try to choke them back down to his gut.

    Good luck on your 5K, that's something I have not yet attempted. No matter what the time on the clock when you cross you can be proud of this accomplishment, it is a great thing you're doing.

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