If I can make it through this, I am way stronger than I thought.

I never thought it could be this bad, but it is.  My gramma is in the process of dying.  I am pretty sure she is in the final stages, yesterday she was unresponsive and almost comatose, but today she is alert and moaning and sweating and asking for help and anxious, but can squeeze my hand and say that she loves me back.  But seeing her in pain and upset is beyond upsetting, and I worry about my mom.  She shouldn't see this.  No one should.  Thank goodness for the awesome caregivers here at the assisted living facility that she lives in.  They love her.  All of them came in yesterday before they left for the day to say goodbye--and then came to see her this morning to say hello.  It is such a blessing.