I got an awesome message today on facebook from someone who I have known since high school.  I didn't even know that she read my blog, and her words were really helpful for me.

I have to keep in mind that I am not the only one with issues, and eating and living healthily is a challenge for many.  And, I am less alone than I thought.  Which is pretty cool.

And as I was typing my response back, I realized how I sabotage myself every day because I still don't think I am ready (clearly evident by my actions, not what I want/feel) for a different way of living/eating.  This morning I was making excuses for why I didn't want to go to the gym, but made myelf go dance my ass off at Zumba and then lift for BodyPump.  I burned 912 calories before noon today.

And then I came home to make my husband rice krispie treats and chocolate chip cookies for his birthday today.

And then I nearly ate a whole jar of salsa, with some cheesey dip and consumed far too many tortilla chips.

And, I wasn't hungry, and I gorged myself.  Yuk.

Tomorrow is a new day.  I can do better.  I will, I know I will.  

In other news, I swam on Sunday (70 laps!!) using the alphabet suggestion, and it was VERY effective.  Though, what us big girls/guys need to realize, at least for me, most of my vernacular was food related.  It didn't help that I hadn't eaten breakfast before swimming either.
I'd start off good, C: cold, caterpillar, cannon, and then I'd make the mistake of thinking about food: cheese, which then led me to pizza--wait that isn't a C, ok but pizza is so good and it has cheese on it so that works, and it could have cheddar on it so that goes with the C thing... And then I was done with that lap and have said about four things that went with C.  I would breathe a bit at the end of the pool, and then some awesome words would come to me before I started swimming cucumber, cantaloupe, Chudley Cannons, chalupa, courageous, but I couldn't use the words that I thought when I wasn't swimming, I needed different words.  To come back, I thought I would try to think as many Cs from Harry Potter that I could, and then the voices in my head discussed how few Cs there were and I was done with my lap back before I thought of any really good Cs, and I had to move to Ds.  Which went the same way as Cs did.  I did the whole alphabet once through, and then A-I.  Pretty impressed with myself, and I didn't get bored.  Frustrated, hungry, and irritated I don't know more words, but not bored.
Next swim I will have to plan better or read the dictionary (especially for qs, xs, and zs) right before I go.

Also, I am OBSESSED with Downton Abbey.  Absolutely OBSESSED.  I watched five episodes of season 1 on Saturday.  In a row.  I woke up at 4 am on Sunday and couldn't fall back asleep, so I watched episode 5.  I watched the rest of the season yesterday, and now have been watching season 2 online.  I watched three yesterday.  I am waiting for Judge Judy to get done so I can watch some more.  OMGOMGOMG I love the show.  I hate some of the characters so much--it is SO AWESOME!! Super acting, fantastic plot, and awesome time period--I wasn't expecting to love it, or even like it when I started, but DAMN.  It is SO GOOD!!!

And that is my exciting life.  :)