Do I like the compliments? Heck yes! But I really like how I feel, and how my clothes fit, and the little things--like not being able to eat so much in one sitting; or realizing what full actually feels like before it is too late; even something little like our regular-sized bath towels at our house fits all the way around me, AND I can walk around in it with no indecent exposure happening.
These things are motivating for me.
I have been gone since the end of August, and I haven't seen either set of L's parents since I left. When L's stepdad saw me he yelled "you're disappearing" and "you look great!" and L's mom said I looked awesome too. My mom and sister tell me I look fantastic, I love the support I am getting from my friends back in WI and the readers of my blog (thank you!!!), and L says he liked me just the way I was--but he now calls me skinny (even though I know I still have a ways to go to be deemed "skinny"--just ask the stupid Wii fit weigh-in). When I was here in OR last, L's stepsister and step-brother in law didn't outwardly note any change in my appearance--and that was totally fine with me. Again, I am doing this for me.
Today I saw L's dad and stepmom and brother for the first time since August. My hair was all curly--I looked GOOD. But not one word. From anyone.
Again--not a big deal--I am doing this for me. Just an interesting study in differing personalities.
Other things of note...This week has pretty much gone to hell. Which means I will have to work even harder to work off the damage this week. I did run on Tuesday, and I am going to try to run tomorrow too (if it isn't raining). Here are some of my eating debacles:
- I made a homemade fresh peach/fresh blueberry/fresh cherry cobbler. I've had about 2 servings so far.
- Giant plate of pasta with butter (too much) and parm cheese from the jar (aka--not the good kind). (I was really craving mac-n-cheese--and there wasn't any in the house. I thought I could make an adequate replacement--but I used too much butter (never thought I'd EVER say that), and it was too much--but did I throw it out and not eat it all? Nope. I totally ate it, even though I wasn't that hungry, nor did it taste good. I am pretty disappointed in that choice.)
- Delicious chinese food (chicken lo mein maybe one cup and 6 crab puffs--ok, THAT was totally out of control--really really not a good decision).
- Kix cereal. Not measured. (I've been measuring food--especially cereal since I started back up with WW--it is a bad idea to not measure).
- hummus (black bean) w/pita triangles
- salad with interesting dressing (claimed "caesar," but there was roasted corn, pickled red onions, and a sweet/savory bite to it--delicious, but not what I would connect with the name it was given on the menu.)
- Bread--far too much bread--(5 slices? Maybe more) with this amazing butter spread
- 2 mini-crab cakes
- shared a chocolate dulce de leche cake with everyone--but I was tricked into ordering it. But it was damn good. Worth every bite.
- cheese fondue w/bread cubes and pretzel
- Chicken schnitzel (not breaded) mashed potatoes, roasted garlic, and portabella mushrooms
- Sourdough roll w/a little butter
- bite of L's brother's spaetzel
- 2 bites of L's AWESOME prime rib
- slice of pumpkin cheesecake
- slice of new york cheesecake
- real whip cream.
I also made L chocolate chip cookies tonight. I had one to make sure it was ok, but I am regretting it now. I am still full from dinner. I didn't even eat any dough--which is unheard of when I bake cookies for L--because I was so full. I wish I wouldn't have eaten that cookie!
Thanks for reading my Thanksgiving rambling! I hope that you had a magnificent Thanksgiving. I feel so split down the middle--I am glad I was able to be here in OR for Thanksgiving, but I also miss my mom and dad and sister back in WI. I think this is how things will continue to be as long as I am on this coast. It's just something I will have to cope with on a regular basis!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving dinner at L's mom and stepdad's house. I am in charge of pies (YAY!!!!!!!), and I am going to make a pumpkin and an apple. I will try not to overdo it--but homemade is always so much better--Maybe I'll just go on some sort of fast/cleanse when I get back to WI...
The only problem with that is the limited "fast' ingredients of quality in lowly central Wisconsin. In winter.
Blargh. I just realized I am going back to snow too. Yuk. Oh well. One more month!!