30 May 2012
You'd be good with those "honors" kids...
I'm sick of hearing this. I am sick of the bar being so low that any semblance of academic rigor ignites riots in the classroom. I have heard the "honors kids" comment several times since taking this long-term job, and many times in my first teaching position. I am willing to adjust my teaching, but no one is able to explain how--other than dumbing down what I do so much that it becomes pointless. Which I am NOT willing to do. I seem to be on an endless rollercoaster of good and horrific days, but I don't remember ever feeling so incompetent or so alone in my whole life. I am "canceling" three of my assignments because I can't take it anymore. Yes, I am letting them win and yes it bothers me. But I don't want to suffer through the excuses, or the garbage writing, or the mean comments I am bombarded with every.single.day. I have been in a no-win situation from day one, and haven't felt supported, and still don't. Rather, I feel alone, judged, and incompetent. I was even asked today if I "even like[d]" teaching by the person who is supposed to be "co-teaching" with me. WTF? Who are you to ask me that?
[I had several paragraphs here detailing certain issues, but as I am growing up, I am being smarter about my online presence. It sucks.] I know I need a thicker skin. I know it more than anyone can imagine. My life would be so much better if I had that thick skin.