13 December 2011

Back to old patterns...

Yep. I've been avoiding life.  I've been avoiding the scale, eating right, writing, and the outside world.  I haven't been avoiding working out.  I am averaging 5x a week, and have been walking outside taking advantage of the nice weather (i.e. not rain).  I haven't stopped going to Body Pump (3x a week) either.

It hasn't helped in the whole lose-weight journey.

I'm up to 247.5

And I am aware that if I was eating right, I'd be dropping weight readily.  And it should be more of a focus and a priority for me.  Instead, I tell myself, "after the holidays," or "when I get a job"...Neither of which are healthy approaches.  I know.  I am grappling with the fact that I most likely won't get to teach again, and I am not sure what I CAN do for a living.  I have been applying for jobs left and right, and can't even get a response--from administrative assistant, to a corrections officer, to classroom assistant, to various state jobs, to--get this--McDonald's.  NO RESPONSES.  It is heartbreaking.  Ok.  That's all for now.  I just haven't fallen off the earth, though that might be more exciting than my actual real life at this point.


  1. I'm so sorry you're having a sucky time of it. I've been searching for a new job, too, and nothing. It sucks and it's so easy to come home and eat comfort food - chocolate, cheese, crackers, chocolate, cake, soda, wine, chocolate, tater tots. The scale is creeping up for me, too, which is really going to suck if I get a job interview and all my nice suits are too tight in the ass.

  2. Thanks so much A. I bet you look hot in tight pants though!! :)

  3. cheers for your honesty. that means a lot. people want to read that. true story.

    hang in there. you can reach your goals. each little step takes you closer.

    praying for courage for you.


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