31 March 2013

Balance and Lack of Balance...

And the reoccurring theme continues.  Not whining here--I made my bed.  I am thinking of climbing out of it though.  I haven't been on the scale in a really really long time, but I feel that I am at my heaviest.  I feel the heftiness and I know that I have put myself in this situation.

Bad choices in every aspect of my life--food, exercise, drink, mental, professional, financial....

I miss feeling powerful like when I was working out, but I love that I am teaching.  I am frustrated that I haven't found a way to make time to work out on a regular basis.  My "it's an hour drive every morning and an hour drive every evening" excuse in my internal dialogue just isn't cutting it anymore--because what's my excuse on the weekends?  On my week of Spring Break?

My laziness and unwillingness to make more of an effort to lead a more well-rounded life is taking its toll.  I am not a pleasant wife, and I am pretty sure I am not as effective in the classroom as I could be.   I hate how I feel, I hate the heaviness I feel slugging myself around.  I hate how I look, and how no clothes fit or look decent--don't even get me started on the lack of clothes I even can wear anymore.

I know that things need to change.  I am calling the WW number through my health insurance since we get it for free as an Oregon teacher, so I am going to try to get back in a better eating mode at least.  My husband has two weeks this month that he will be out of town, and I am more disciplined when I am flying solo. I have to work on THAT too.

Here we go again....

No comments:

Post a Comment

I love when people comment!!! Good, bad, or even ugly--feel free to leave a comment and I will do my best to respond!