Reflections on this wonderful Thanksgiving day...

I went  into this whole lifestyle change for me.  I've been unhappy with how I feel, and unhappy with how I look in the mirror for some time now.  I am my reason and my motivation.  I am not doing it to attract the attention of others, or for anyone outside of myself--a major difference from my previous attempts at changing my lifestyle. 

Do I like the compliments? Heck yes!  But I really like how I feel, and how my clothes fit, and the little things--like not being able to eat so much in one sitting; or realizing what full actually feels like before it is too late; even something little like our regular-sized bath towels at our house fits all the way around me, AND I can walk around in it with no indecent exposure happening. 

These things are motivating for me. 

I have been gone since the end of August, and I haven't seen either set of L's parents since I left.  When L's stepdad saw me he yelled "you're disappearing" and "you look great!" and L's mom said I looked awesome too.  My mom and sister tell me I look fantastic, I love the support I am getting from my friends back in WI and the readers of my blog (thank you!!!),  and L says he liked me just the way I was--but he now calls me skinny (even though I know I still have a ways to go to be deemed "skinny"--just ask the stupid Wii fit weigh-in).  When I was here in OR last, L's stepsister and step-brother in law didn't outwardly note any change in my appearance--and that was totally fine with me.  Again, I am doing this for me. 

Today I saw L's dad and stepmom and brother for the first time since August.  My hair was all curly--I looked GOOD.  But not one word. From anyone. 

Again--not a big deal--I am doing this for me.  Just an interesting study in differing personalities. 

Other things of note...This week has pretty much gone to hell. Which means I will have to work even harder to work off the damage this week.  I did run on Tuesday, and I am going to try to run tomorrow too (if it isn't raining).  Here are some of my eating debacles:

• I made a homemade fresh peach/fresh blueberry/fresh cherry cobbler.  I've had about 2 servings so far. 
• Giant plate of pasta with butter (too much) and parm cheese from the jar (aka--not the good kind). (I was really craving mac-n-cheese--and there wasn't any in the house. I thought I could make an adequate replacement--but I used too much butter (never thought I'd EVER say that), and it was too much--but did I throw it out and not eat it all? Nope. I totally ate it, even though I wasn't that hungry, nor did it taste good.  I am pretty disappointed in that choice.)
• Delicious chinese food (chicken lo mein maybe one cup and 6 crab puffs--ok, THAT was totally out of control--really really not a good decision).  
• Kix cereal.  Not measured.  (I've been measuring food--especially cereal since I started back up with WW--it is a bad idea to not measure).

Dinner at a South American cuisine restaurant:

• hummus (black bean) w/pita triangles
• salad with interesting dressing (claimed "caesar," but there was roasted corn, pickled red onions, and a sweet/savory bite to it--delicious, but not what I would connect with the name it was given on the menu.)
• Bread--far too much bread--(5 slices? Maybe more) with this amazing butter spread
• 2 mini-crab cakes
• shared a chocolate dulce de leche cake with everyone--but I was tricked into ordering it.  But it was damn good. Worth every bite. 

Today's restaurant Thanksgiving:

• cheese fondue w/bread cubes and pretzel
• Chicken schnitzel (not breaded) mashed potatoes, roasted garlic, and portabella mushrooms
• Sourdough roll w/a little butter
• bite of L's brother's spaetzel
• 2 bites of L's AWESOME prime rib
• slice of pumpkin cheesecake 
• slice of new york cheesecake
•  real whip cream.  

The last three items were unnecessary and put me over the edge in full.  I wanted to have the strawberry pizza from the restaurant, but L's dad had bought two cheesecakes.  I should have only had one piece too.  And no whip cream.  I am pretty disgusted as I type this at what I ate for dessert, but I will just have to remember this in the future. 
I also made L chocolate chip cookies tonight.  I had one to make sure it was ok, but I am regretting it now. I am still full from dinner.  I didn't even eat any dough--which is unheard of when I bake cookies for L--because I was so full.  I wish I wouldn't have eaten that cookie!

Thanks for reading my Thanksgiving rambling! I hope that you had a magnificent Thanksgiving.  I feel so split down the middle--I am glad I was able to be here in OR for Thanksgiving, but I also miss my mom and dad and sister back in WI.  I think this is how things will continue to be as long as I am on this coast.  It's just something I will have to cope with on a regular basis! 

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving dinner at L's mom and stepdad's house.  I am in charge of pies (YAY!!!!!!!), and I am going to make a pumpkin and an apple.  I will try not to overdo it--but homemade is always so much better--Maybe I'll just go on some sort of fast/cleanse when I get back to WI...
The only problem with that is the limited "fast' ingredients of quality in lowly central Wisconsin.  In winter. 
Blargh. I just realized I am going back to snow too.  Yuk. Oh well.  One more month!!