And the reoccurring theme continues. Not whining here--I made my bed. I am thinking of climbing out of it though. I haven't been on the scale in a really really long time, but I feel that I am at my heaviest. I feel the heftiness and I know that I have put myself in this situation.
Bad choices in every aspect of my life--food, exercise, drink, mental, professional, financial....
I miss feeling powerful like when I was working out, but I love that I am teaching. I am frustrated that I haven't found a way to make time to work out on a regular basis. My "it's an hour drive every morning and an hour drive every evening" excuse in my internal dialogue just isn't cutting it anymore--because what's my excuse on the weekends? On my week of Spring Break?
My laziness and unwillingness to make more of an effort to lead a more well-rounded life is taking its toll. I am not a pleasant wife, and I am pretty sure I am not as effective in the classroom as I could be. I hate how I feel, I hate the heaviness I feel slugging myself around. I hate how I look, and how no clothes fit or look decent--don't even get me started on the lack of clothes I even can wear anymore.
I know that things need to change. I am calling the WW number through my health insurance since we get it for free as an Oregon teacher, so I am going to try to get back in a better eating mode at least. My husband has two weeks this month that he will be out of town, and I am more disciplined when I am flying solo. I have to work on THAT too.
Here we go again....
