Yep. I've been avoiding life. I've been avoiding the scale, eating right, writing, and the outside world. I haven't been avoiding working out. I am averaging 5x a week, and have been walking outside taking advantage of the nice weather (i.e. not rain). I haven't stopped going to Body Pump (3x a week) either.
It hasn't helped in the whole lose-weight journey.
I'm up to 247.5
And I am aware that if I was eating right, I'd be dropping weight readily. And it should be more of a focus and a priority for me. Instead, I tell myself, "after the holidays," or "when I get a job"...Neither of which are healthy approaches. I know. I am grappling with the fact that I most likely won't get to teach again, and I am not sure what I CAN do for a living. I have been applying for jobs left and right, and can't even get a response--from administrative assistant, to a corrections officer, to classroom assistant, to various state jobs, to--get this--McDonald's. NO RESPONSES. It is heartbreaking. Ok. That's all for now. I just haven't fallen off the earth, though that might be more exciting than my actual real life at this point.
I'm so sorry you're having a sucky time of it. I've been searching for a new job, too, and nothing. It sucks and it's so easy to come home and eat comfort food - chocolate, cheese, crackers, chocolate, cake, soda, wine, chocolate, tater tots. The scale is creeping up for me, too, which is really going to suck if I get a job interview and all my nice suits are too tight in the ass.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much A. I bet you look hot in tight pants though!! :)
ReplyDeletecheers for your honesty. that means a lot. people want to read that. true story.
ReplyDeletehang in there. you can reach your goals. each little step takes you closer.
praying for courage for you.
xoxo