Conundrum...

I want to increase my speed.
Pretty much everything I've read says that one of the easiest ways to increase speed is:

to lose weight.

Well, that is helpful.

I think I will have to just put some patience pants on (which I DO NOT OWN), and tough it out.

Still depressing. 

I hate running on the treadmill. It sucks.  Today I tried interval training (another way to increase speed), and with the tv on the treadmill not working, and me wanting to die during the "work" intervals, I wanted to poke my eyes out.
Here is what I did:

Interval	How to Run
Warm up	Slowly jog for 5 minutes.
Work Interval	3 minutes at 20 seconds faster than your 5K race pace
Rest Interval	Recover (easy pace) for 3 minutes.
Work Interval	3 minutes at 20 seconds faster than your 5K race pace
Rest Interval	Recover (easy pace) for 3 minutes.
Work Interval	3 minutes at 20 seconds faster than your 5K race pace
Rest Interval	Recover (easy pace) for 3 minutes.
Work Interval	3 minutes at 20 seconds faster than your 5K race pace
Rest Interval	Recover (easy pace) for 3 minutes.
Work Interval	3 minutes at 20 seconds faster than your 5K race pace
Rest Interval	Recover (easy pace) for 3 minutes.
Cool down	Slowly jog for 5 minutes.

Thanks active.com!

*Please note that my "20 seconds faster than...5K race pace" is pretty pathetic.  And it was STILL REALLY HARD FOR ME.

Facing the Music...Weigh-In Monday

WW Scale:  230.4
Wii Fit:  226.0

NEWS FLASH!!!!!!!!

WEIGHT WATCHERS WORKS.
TRACKING FOOD WORKS.


Blargh. 

All the hard work.  Semi-down-the-toilet.  ARGH. 

Normally, I would just give up. 
This would be the conversation in my head:
See?  You aren't going to be successful at this.  See? You can't even lose weight every week.  See?  You might as well just eat what you want, go to the store, get some chips and pizza and donuts--pig out--you are a failure anyway. Look at how much you've gained.  See? You'll always be fat.  Just eat.  You know you want to.  You've missed the gorging and the happiness bad food gives you...C'mon...just eat...

And today, I will fight that voice.  I will pick myself up and go to the gym and be proud of the 4 miles I ran yesterday--the 49 minutes and 25 seconds STRAIGHT that I ran.  Even if I am slow (my mom walks faster than I run!), I can jog for 49 minutes straight!!!!!! This is something I NEVER EVER thought that I'd be able to claim!
Ok.  Time for the pity-party to end, and I need to plan out my week of working out and classes I will take at the gym.


I'm still pretty pissed at myself though.  :(

Dear jam-making friend (you know who you are),

I need to learn how to portion control the delicious food of the gods--homemade jam.  Seriously. Oh, and believe me--I WILL be licking the plate when the bagel thins are in my belly.

I. LOVE. JAM.

Almost as much as Joey.  Maybe more now that I think about it.
(I would embed this, but the owner of the clip "doesn't allow" embedding.  BAH) So click HERE.

Goals...Rewards...

I changed my weigh-in day to Monday, but I am going to post these now. 
I have been thinking about how to adequately (without going overboard) reward/motivate myself for a while now--and this is what I've come up with.

The first week in 2011= Be on-plan (OP) for one week straight.  Tracking everything. 

(Baby steps...baby steps)

By the numbers....

200 = pedicure/massage

190 =  facial (first time!)

180 = waxing

170 = bellybutton pierced

160 = tattoo

HOLY CRAP : 8K #1 Signed up for!!!

I am COMMITTED!!!
HOLY CRAP!!!

APRIL 17 2010!!

5 K #2 SHAMROCK RUN

Sunday, March 13th!!!

I was too chicken to sign up for the 8K. Oh well.  Goal=improve time from 1st 5K. 

Hosting dinner last night in pictures...only minus the dessert (homemade oreo/andes candies cheesecake) and minus the guests (L's mom and stepdad & stepsister and brother-in-law).

part of the sauce

pureed

baking in oven--yep too big...I ignored my gut.

Homemade french bread. Yep. I rock.

See? Some healthy items!  (Well, the veggies at least.)

L helping make the garlic cheese bread.

Our table.  I am super proud of being a grown-up here!

The lasagna wasn't that great. I am sad at its giant-ness and lack of tomato-y yumminess. I made everything from scratch--including the noodles which was a debacle in itself, but oh well.  This might be the last time I stray from Betty Crocker when making lasagna.  Here is the recipe that I was not impressed with--there was far too much, the directions sucked balls, and maybe I should have added the cinnamon that was called for, but that just creeped me out.  P.S.  Did I mention that there was FAR TOO MUCH?  At least my dessert rocked.  As did the baby arugula salad with yummy vinaigrette here.

Even though I miss WI, miss my little sister and my mom and dad and my friends, I love my kitchen.  I love cooking in my kitchen.  LOVE IT!!!

I am looking forward to the end of the holidays to get back into routines--including tracking points hard-core, working out on a schedule (including classes--my gym is finally starting "Body Pump" classes!), and job hunting/trying to figure out my future.

Happy holidays everyone.  I hope you are all wonderful, safe, and happy with all of your loved ones.

WI Tuesday!

Not accurate--but my scale is still in the mail (and no, I don't like to rhyme).

So I got on the Wii Fit--

224.4



-1.6lbs

WAHOOOOOOO:
-50.6 lbs!!!!!!!!!!!

I never thought I'd ever see that number.  I am so proud of myself.  YAY!!!

I think to celebrate, after I go to the grocery store to get some stuff to make my crock pot chicken salsa, I am going to run outside!!!!!!!  :)

First, and last time...

jogging on the treadmill at the gym.  
YUK.

I even had to walk a couple of times.  First, it is boring.  Even with tvs everywhere, and my podcast playing...I was so BORED.  I couldn't stop looking at the time/distance monitor, and couldn't keep it covered because I was sweating so much I needed my towel. 

I hate it.  I didn't go as far as I'd like, and basically, it sucked. 

Good thing to know. 
This will mean I might have to invest in running rain gear. 

Transitions...

Change is good. I can do this.  I am going home to L--who I miss horrifically. And my cats. And my gym membership.
But I didn't see my mom and dad and friends as much as I'd like.
I am going back to no job and no prospects.

I need to work on not taking on the stress that surrounds me.
I'd like to improve my communication with people I care about and not let guilt wear me down.

And not medicating with food.  I need to think back to how far I've come and how I feel when I am eating right and taking care of myself.  I don't have heartburn (like now) and I don't feel gross and overstuffed.

I will also not get sick.  I know I avoided a number of icky illnesses that went around school--including a puking flu--but just because I am done teaching doesn't mean my body gets to give up and let down its guard and let the gross overcome me.

Just sayin'.

WI from Wisconsin...Last one...

226.0

-1.7

So, since "moving" back to Wisconsin as of August 30 until now, I have lost 25.1 lbs. 
Not too shabby if I do say so myself.  I still have a great amount of work to do back in Oregon, but I am glad I didn't slip back into old habits while being back amongst all the cheesey meaty fried temptation. 

I am putting the scale in a box to ship it back home tomorrow. 

I also decided that I need to set some goals. I think goals and mini-rewards will help me be focused. 

Last night I sat and ate more muddy buddy mix that I made, and tonight my sister and I are splitting a pizza.  I also am avoiding running because A) I was still sore yesterday,  B) IT IS 11 DEGREES (windchill=2 degrees!!!!) and C) the piles of snow are ridonkulous and I will probably have to run in the streets.  But basically, it is cold as heck out there, and I really just want to get back to OR where there is no sub-zero weather of crap.  

But, I am super sad to leave.  ARGH.

I did it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Me, before the race.

First 5K: 37:24.

My jingle bells!

Yep. Deep.  Deeper than this in some areas!

The snow...this was a cleared section.

Me, after the race.

Mom and I--MOM ROCKED IT!!!

Not going to lie, I am not happy about my time.  Even though it was the fastest I've run since starting the C25K program...my mom WALKED it in 47!!  At least I know that I can do better.  It was super snowy and the path wasn't really cleared, so we were warned that a 5K in the snow was more like a 10K--and my legs agree right now.  Ow.

Counterproductive...

Today I ran for a full 40 minutes. Straight.
It helped that my favorite podcast that I listen to as I jog read an email I wrote on the show today!  Download it here--the show is 12/8 & my email is about 19:16 into the show.  I almost fell over because they actually tease that they are going to read my email at the beginning of the show and they say my full name--I almost fell over when I heard it!!

And then I got back, showered, and started boxing up stuff that I can mail back.  And it hit me that I am leaving soon.  And it sucks.  I will miss living with my sister.  I will miss knowing how close my mom and dad are. I will miss getting to see them or have breakfast or a fish fry with them.  So that sucks.  I miss L like crazy. I miss our nice house and our awesome bed and our amazing kitchen. I miss my car and driving it.  I even miss my gym. But when I get back, I know that I will miss my mom and dad and my sister.  It's never easy is it?

And then, I had 1 point left for the day (which sucks by the way--a large cafe karuba I track as 11 points--which is horrifying, but the cinnamon roll flavor is so beyond delicious, and it is so freeking cold here, it is the perfect drink to start my teaching day).  And my jog was 12 points, but then I ate an egg, 2 egg whites and a bagel thin.  And then I had two bites of my homemade toffee that I made for people at work.  And then I ate two pretzel/Hug wreaths.  And then I ate some puppy chow I made. Keep in mind, these were things I made as gifts.  I wanted to try the puppy chow because I didn't have enough peanut butter so I added a few butterscotch chips. I don't really like the flavor, but what did I do? I gorged myself.  I actually felt myself getting sick, more and more full, and yet I KEPT EATING.  And now I have a stomach ache and I feel yucky and I totally negated my awesome run tonight.  Which is frustrating.  And disheartening.

My first 5K is on Saturday.  Two of my amazing friends are walking it while I run it.  My mom is walking in it (I just found that out via facebook).  I am nervous.

And I REALLY need to get rid of all the homemade baked goodies so I am not even tempted to gorge myself.  BAH.

WI Tuesday from Wisconsin...

Only one more in WI, and then I am back to OR!!!!

227.7

- 2.7

Since WW:  -47.3

back on track...but I need to finish baking goodbye/holiday goodies so I stop munching on them. 

Wow. Almost 50 pounds down!! YAY!

Early present for myself...

I will not disclose how poorly I did on the initial tests for both pushups and situps. 

BAH. 

I really need these programs.  That much is clearly evident. 

Just Found...

These:
100 Pushups
200 Situps

And will complete the initial tests tomorrow. 
Very cool. 

And I made myself run again tonight. In the cold.  YAY ME!

WARNING--random blathering ahead...

Tonight I went for a run.  3rd run after completing C25K.  I feel like I am de-gressing, and I was freezing and heaving and it was HARD to run tonight.  And I didn't even go a full 3 miles in 40 minutes.  GRRRR...I am going to have to work harder.  Maybe I will start jogging every day?  Blargh.  I'll do some research.  I am really worried because my first 5K is next Saturday and I don't think I am ready.   :(

To celebrate the demise of my self esteem I ate horrifically.  Carmel popcorn, a serving of honey mustard pretzels that I don't know the points for anymore because they were pre-measured a long time ago.  And then, to top it off, I ate some boxed mac-n-cheese.  Like I was in college again.  But, I didn't eat the whole box! YAY!  But now I feel disgusting.  I really need to get back to my own kitchen and comfort zone to get back on track again.  I feel like I am slipping--I know that I haven't been 100% on plan and I need to work harder.

And, I am trying to like nuts. Almonds; to be exact.  I know that they are good for me, so I got some sea-salted roasted ones (28 almonds = 5 points in the new plan), and ate some yesterday.  Eh.  Maybe they will grow on me more, but at least they don't make me gag.  And, I was full at lunch after my entree without eating a yogurt. 

Ok. I think that covers all the random ramblings for now!  Happy 1 of December!