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Today I had two parents tell me in so many words or less that my expectations were too high, my workload was too much, I am out of touch with students, am making future students leery of future honors courses, should know that students will be unprepared for national standards because it is a Title 1 school, and basically the town I am teaching in isn't a good fit for me.  Oh, and all my students' parents feel this way, but they were the only ones that had the guts to meet with me face-to-face.

With 23 school days left in the year.


I love life.

What I learned today...

If staying at school late, do not stop at the grocery store before you hit the highway and buy a big bag of pirates' booty.  Also, do not take the snickerdoodles that the students didn't eat home in the front seat.

Yes, I did eat the whole bag of pirates' booty (14 points); yes I did eat three snickerdoodles (10 points); yes, I blew 24 points today on absolute crap food.  As I was shoveling and driving I knew I was not hungry after I polished off the booty, but did I stop eating? Nope.  Hunger monster of eating bad food was awoken and wanted satisfaction.

And now I feel gross and wish I would have just went to A&W for the 16 point fried cheese curds and 16 point large root beer instead.

ARGH.

Yay for a new day tomorrow!!!

Medicating

With food.

Not a good choice, and I knew I was doing it as I was doing it.  And, the euphoria that followed for the brief moment-I recognized was from the shitty food I had just shoveled/crammed into my gullet.

But, I'm ok. I know I will do better.  But a student stole from me today and it really, really bothered me.  And L had a bad day and was easily convinced.  I could have had a salad, or asked for fruit instead of that side of ranch, but I'm tracking every point I ate.  It sucks ass, but I'm doing it.

And I need to get back into working out/jogging/C25K.

Ok.  It's almost Friday right?

25 more school days with students.  I can do this.

Knee

It started to hurt after my Week 3 Day 1 go at C25K.  :(  That was Tuesday, so I haven't done anything since then--and I was on a roll.  I might go out tomorrow and test it. I might just have to deal with the pain and keep pushing.

But tonight I just ate some salted carmel balls of awesome:

OH.  MY.  GOD.

I immediately portioned them out (5 points for 11 balls of heaven).  And treat myself when I need something sweet and/or chocolatey.  The cashier man at Trader Joe's said these must be REALLY good because he finds 4-5 bags opened and empty around the store every day.  Oh cashier man, if you only knew the deliciousness.

As I ready myself to head outside for W2D1

upon noticing that my neon bra can be seen through my tanktop (hey--it's 76 degrees here in PDX!)....

Well, if someone really wants to stare at the fat girl's chest as she is heaving and puffing in her attempt at jogging--GO.FOR.IT.

The one where I overate to near explosion.....

Yep.  Two thumbs pointing at me....blargh...two steps forward and about five back....Now my gut hurts and the food high is nearly gone.

Monday...

Blah


L's in Germany for the next week.

I ate like crap this weekend, resulting in a 3.4 + weight gain.

It was a beautiful day outside today.  I completed Week 1 Day 2 today for C25K, but struggled so much with it (I HATE HILLS), that I didn't go any further/walk any farther than I had to--I was DONE at the end of the workout.

Special K cracker chips are the devil.  Should not have bought them, opened them, ate them.  Now I want to eat the whole box.

My dad made chex mix for L, and puppychow for us.  DAMMIT DAMMIT DAMMIT.  IT IS SO GOOD.  I tried to hide it in the freezer, but I still know it is there.

I was so hungry tonight, that I tried to slow the shoveling of my food by using my fingers on the hot food.  Now I just have semi-burned fingers. FAIL.

Happy Monday to me!

C25K TAKE 2

I have this awesome friend...we lost touch because I can be a douche, but that is over, and I am lucky she forgave me....well, anyway, I get this message on facebook on Tuesday:

http://www.mayoclinic.com/images/pdfs/fsm14_5K_run.pdf 

I am starting this today!!! On run/walk days I am going to do the running routine where I run for 15-20 seconds of each minute and walk the rest and do that for 30 minutes! Maybe we can do Sunday runs/walks together? I figure it would be silly to try and meet up everyday, since you are driving so much. No worries if you dont want to do this training plan or if you dont want to start right away. But i was thinking... if you wanna do it, maybe we could do sunday mid morning run/walks together. Maybe like 11? that way we can sleep in have breakfast or hang out at home and then get a work out in before lunch?!I am sure you already have a work out routine that you are doing. and believe me, i turned down people when I was in my routine. It is so hard to get into a habit, so if you already have a routine...... NO WORRIES. I just really gotta start doing something daily and you were the first person I asked to see if you wanted to do it together.

So then I sent:

• 
  

  FUN!! I am going to try to do Couch to 5K again--but I will for sure do Sundays whatever plan with you!!! I am going to sign up for the Color Run with my next paycheck--the 9:30 start time?

 To which she replied:

 What is the couch to 5K? is it a training schedule? I wanna do it!!! And i wanna do the color run with you!!!! all i saw was the september run? is there another color run sooner than that? send me a link to whatever you sign up for and I will do whatever you do! sorry i am being so eager! I just get really excited about this kind of stuff!!!

And then:

• You can just tell me to calm the fuck down if i am getting too annoying

And then:

okay so i just re read all my messaged to you. and i need to calm the fuck down. haha. i get too worked up. hahahaha. im going to step away from the computer. ive just been so depressed lately that having something i can look forward to that makes me feel better is overload right now. haha. i just really like you and i love that were hanging out again and i get excited when people are into the same thing and .... okay..... im done... walking away... .atleast for a few hours.

Which basically made me pee my pants because it was EXACTLY what I needed.  Her fired-up-ness prompted me to actually do C25K W1D1 today.  I went 2.39 miles today in 36 minutes, and it was awesome.  I wanted to die when I was jogging, but it still felt awesome.  My Vibrams make me want to run like Phoebe though, and when I was on flat surface, I stepped it up a notch--at least in the first few running busts--by the last two I wanted to stop and cry.  

But anyway, I am super excited to have the support I have in my life right now--it really comes at a perfect time--when I really do need it.  Today I really wanted to leave work early, drive to A&W, get some cheese curds, drive to Burgerville and get a shake and fries and a burger.  I'm not sure why, but I did.  I didn't though.  I stayed until 3:30, ate my minneola in the car as usual, drove my 60 plus minutes because of stupid traffic, put on workout clothes, and went out for the week one, day one workout.

I did then, immediately when I got home, gorge myself with a pile of asparagus, quinoa, and grilled chicken.  And I am thinking about a single-serving chocolate chip cookie...13 points and all....